Why Presuming Competence Changes Everything for Autistic Kids | E60

Hey, What’s Up! It’s Tommy. In this episode of Spectrum in Camouflage, I’m talking about something that hits close to home, presuming competence. As a dad raising an autistic child, I’ve learned that one of the most powerful things we can do is treat our kids as capable, aware, and worthy of respect, even when they can’t express it in the ways we expect.

Fall is here, life is moving fast, and while I talk about the beauty of the season, I also discuss the importance of giving our kids grace, offering them patience, and remembering that they understand far more than they can often show. This episode is about awareness, compassion, and changing the way we look at autism—because our kids deserve to be seen and heard, even when they can’t speak for themselves.

Key Takeaways

• Presuming competence means believing that your child understands and experiences the world, even if they can’t communicate it in traditional ways.
• Treat nonverbal children with respect and dignity. Talk to them like they’re listening—because they are.
• Grace and patience are essential. Many people simply don’t know what it’s like to live in this world every day.
• Autism awareness isn’t just for parents; it’s for friends, teachers, pastors, and anyone who interacts with families like ours.
• Every compassionate moment, every smile, greeting, or simple “hello”—can spark something powerful in a child who’s been overlooked.
• They’re human beings first. They feel joy, fear, embarrassment, and love, just like anyone else.
• If you’re raising a child on the spectrum, remind yourself: you’re doing better than you think, and your child is more capable than the world may realize.

If this episode connected with you, share it with someone who needs to hear it. Maybe it’s a teacher, a family member, or a friend who’s never thought about autism from this perspective.

Together, we can create a community of understanding, one that presumes competence in every child and spreads real autism awareness.

You can always reach me directly at tommy@spectrumincamouflage.com or through the website. Let’s keep this conversation going.

• We’re on TikTok: tiktok.com/@spectrum_in_camouflage
• Join our Facebook Group: facebook.com/groups/4002769846662357
• See us on Instagram: instagram.com/spectrum_in_camouflage
• www.spectrumincamouflage.com

Together, we can create a community to support autistic kids and their families. If you have questions or ideas or want to share your journey, email me at tommy@spectrumincamouflage.com.

Let’s learn, grow, and make a difference—one step, one piece of the puzzle, one child at a time.