Why Are We Fighting in the Autism Community?

Hey, What's Up! It's Tommy.

This episode of Spectrum in Camouflage gets personal—and real. I open up about the emotional aftermath of a fellow firefighter's funeral, the intensity of grief, and how we’re all just trying to keep going while carrying heavy mental loads. From there, I shift into something that’s been weighing on me even more: the fighting and division within the autism community—especially over recent comments made by RFK Jr.

Look, I get it. Words like “disease” stir deep emotions. As a dad of an autistic son, I’ve felt that sting too. But I also see an opportunity—maybe for hope, research, understanding, and progress. And I want us to stop fighting each other and start listening. We talk about what the word “disease” even means, how it's used inconsistently in English, and why RFK's words—while uncomfortable—might still open doors we desperately need opened.

I get into our personal struggles, the stress on marriages raising high-needs children, and why I believe we need to stop shutting down conversations that might help our kids just because the source is controversial. Whether you agree or disagree, I just ask this: stay open. Stay kind. And let’s work together for the next generation.

Let’s take a breath. Let’s stop fighting. Let’s move forward—with love.

Key Takeaways

• Grief and mental fatigue are real—and ongoing—in times of personal loss.
• The autism community needs more unity and less judgment.
• RFK Jr.’s controversial comments about autism sparked emotion, but also important conversations.
• The term “disease” in English is complex and inconsistently used.
• Raising a high-needs autistic child brings real stress to families, often straining marriages and emotional well-being.
• Even uncomfortable messengers might carry truths worth hearing—don’t throw away the message because of the messenger.
• We must focus on love, consistency, and showing up—especially when it's hard.
• Let’s build hope and support for this generation and the next.

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Email me at tommy@spectrumincamouflage.com

Let’s keep the conversation real and supportive. You’re not alone in this.

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Together, we can create a community to support autistic kids and their families. If you have questions or ideas or want to share your journey, email me at tommy@spectrumincamouflage.com.

Let’s learn, grow, and make a difference—one step, one piece of the puzzle, one child at a time.